I came across an article a few days ago that caught my attention. The author is a recently divorced man in his late 20’s. His perspective on why modern day marriages fail is because of technology; specifically smart-phones, iPads, and to a lesser degree television. Intriguing, sad, alarming and unfortunately a trend that appears to be picking up speed. As this young man accurately points out, it is not the device that is the problem it is peoples addiction to instant gratification and ego strokes. The gadgets are merely the mechanism of delivery. So much emphasis is being placed on our “digital” lives, we lose sight of the importance and beauty of the person sitting directly across the table from us.
He goes on to describe a typical day in his life and the lives of so many he knows: You are awakened by some specially chosen ring tone of the alarm on your cell phone. You text back and forth with someone who lives in the same house as you and oftentimes they are standing in the very same room with you. Frequently throughout the day you text back and forth about mostly mundane topics with the highlight being a photo of what you had for lunch. You make dinner reservations via an app on your smart phone. When you meet for dinner you can’t properly acknowledge each other because both of you either have a phone to your ear or your fingers are moving at break-neck speed in order to send that oh so important text. You are seated together at a lovely table where your heads are down as you continue to be a slave to your weapons of mass distraction because you certainly don’t want to miss being “LIKED” on Facebook by someone you don’t even know. You leave the restaurant in separate cars to arrive home to a house you remotely light up. Tired from the day you make your way to the bedroom where you turn on the TV and grab your iPad making sure your cell phone is within reaching distance. At some point you fall asleep surrounded by your virtual world. Six to eight hours later you wake-up and repeat some rendition of the previous day. And then you wonder why a time comes when you look at each other and realize your marriage is in the toilet. Come on people, we can ALL do better. Do you really need your cell phone in the bathroom? In the bedroom? When you are sitting or standing in the same room with someone you supposedly care about? Lose the phones and start making some love!